


out of focus and bemused

by Iselmyr



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Other, This just kind of happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 01:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19346665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iselmyr/pseuds/Iselmyr
Summary: Gabriel has something to ask Beelzebub. Neither of them really know why.





	out of focus and bemused

**Author's Note:**

> I'm working on like a dozen different Aziraphale/Crowley fics but somehow was ambushed by this while I was cooking. Fly free, little fic. I have no idea where you came from, but now you exist.
> 
> Title from Maria from The Sound of Music, sorry not sorry.

“Beelzebub,” he said.

Ze didn’t look away from zir desk, where ze was scribbling furiously on paperwork with a pen that sparked occasionally. “It’s Tuesday, they’re your problem today.”

“No, it’s— it’s not about the Arrangement,” Gabriel said.

Beelzebub looked up, finally, and cocked a skeptical eyebrow at him. “You’ve deigned to grace the unholy halls of Hell with your angelic presence to bother me in person, and it’s _not_ about our renegades.” Even the flies buzzing around zir head managed to sound skeptical.

“No,” he said. He was starting to wonder if this was actually a good idea. It had seemed like one, upstairs, but it was _unpleasant_ down here. Why would anyone Fall? “I wanted to ask if you’d care to accompany me to an event on Earth.”

Ze stared blankly at him for an uncomfortably long time filled with the drone of flies. “…Are you someone _impersonating_ the Archangel Gabriel?” Ze said at last.

“I can’t imagine how anyone would get away with that,” Gabriel said, showing all his teeth. “We have a very strict chain of command. No, I am the Archangel fucking Gabriel, and I am asking Lord Beelzebub to accompany me to New York City, to dinner and a Broadway show.” Never show weakness. Especially not down here. Far too late to secondguess this plan.

There was another awkwardly long pause. “Are you azzzzking me on a _date_?” Beelzebub said, after blinking a few times.

“Yes,” he said. Full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes.

Beelzebub cocked zir head to one side and looked him up and down in a way that somehow made him feel exposed. “All right. Tell me when, then get out of my hair. Hell runzzz on paperwork, not faith. I’m busy.”

“Friday, nineteen hundred hours New York time.”

“I notice you picked a day they’re Our problem,” ze said, then continued before he could protest. “I’ll pawn watch off on Dagon, but you owe me.”

“It’s what day the show is,” Gabriel said, and he knew they both knew that was a lie. He was an _archangel_ , after all, he could miracle up a showtime without breaking a sweat. “Meet you there, or shall I pick you up?”

“Satan forbid you have to haul your glory down here again,” Beelzebub said dryly, already shifting zir attention back to the paperwork. “I’ll meet you in the 76th St zzztation. Now go away, if I stick Dagon with my paperwork as well as my watch, they’ll stab me.” He took it as a dismissal and started to walk away, only to turn around when ze called after him. “Oh, and Gabriel? If there are nunzzzz in it, I’ll discorporate you. Painfully.”

Gabriel held up a finger, opened his mouth, then thought better of it and closed it again, dropping his hand. He cleared his throat. “Right. No nuns. Of course. Wouldn’t dream of it.” He smiled, wide and false, then turned back around and got out of Hell as fast as he could manage.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for using The Arrangement for Heaven and Hell having an uneasy truce around keeping an eye on Aziraphale and Crowley but I'm also not, it was too funny to not do.  
>   
> You can find me on tumblr, if you so desire, at [saints-and-demons-preserve-us](https://saints-and-demons-preserve-us.tumblr.com/). I am always open for yelling about Good Omens!


End file.
